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Women's Corner

Money and Marriage

Rabbanith Ruth Menashe, 'a"h
Wednesday, August 12, 2015/Ab 27, 5775

During one of the Shabbatons we held for Jewish singles, we had a very interesting discussion. We asked the men what women expected of them which was unreasonable and unfair, and we asked the women the same question about men. The most common answer from the men about women's unreasonable expectations was to do with the financial aspects.

We all know this, but I would like to reiterate it. Everything that we have in terms of our income, bank accounts and so on, is totally in the hand of Haqqadosh Barukh Hu. Just because a person has something today, does not mean that he will have it in ten years. I know people who have immigrated here from other countries. They had mansions, hotels and yachts. They were heads of their communities and well connected in government. For whatever reason they had to leave their countries and their comforts in a great rush and arrived here without anything, leaving all their wealth to the governments they had been so friendly with till just a few moments earlier.

There are many other instances, in very varied circumstances, of how people lost everything. By the same token, people who were penniless for years have seen their lot in life turn around in an extraordinary fashion. Anything can happen. It is totally in the hands of Haqqadosh Barukh Hu. A person might not have today and might have tomorrow or vice versa. I don't think how much a person has today is a very important factor. What is more important, in my experience, is that a person has the qualities within him of not being lazy, and that he is responsible and feels his responsibility, that together with his wife, they will ensure that the home is taken good care of.

I have seen with my own eyes, people who were brought up in homes that were financially very strong, and the children sometimes lacked the motivation and the ability to create and do what is necessary. It's not their fault, because everything was always given to them. To reiterate, Hashem is the One who decides how much money we will all have. We, in return, in partnership with our spouse, need to make sure that we accept our responsibility of caring for the family.

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