One of the most challenging areas of parenting is knowing and understanding the uniqueness of each one of our children. Each one of them has his/her strengths and weaknesses, and they are all different.
I have heard many times parents express their amazement as to how their children, born to the same father and mother and brought up in the same home - end up being so different from one another. Treating each child differently, according to their special needs, is even more challenging. Some need more attention, while others are satisfied with the minimum. There are children who need their parents' help in preparing homework, while their siblings are independent workers. Some children are business oriented, while others are academically oriented.
When Ya'aqob Abinu, 'a"h, blessed his twelve children before his death, "he blessed them, each one according to his appropriate blessing" (Bereshith 47:28). The Ohr HaHayyim Ha'Qadosh explains that the personalized blessing Ya'aqob Abinu gave to each of his children was tightly connected with that child's soul, personality and actions. The twelve tribes were each upright individuals of stature, but each one of their blessing was custom-made. It was a blessing which reflected the deep understanding of who each of them was. One possessed a soul for kingship, the other fit for priesthood, wealth or physical success.
Ya'aqob Abinu's message to us, parents, is to acknowledge the inner special beauty of each child and to provide him/her with tailor-made methods of upbringing. Just like the stars in the sky differ in size, color, and other attributes, every one of our children is a shining star.
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