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Women's Corner

When is the Right Time to Get Married?

Rabbanith Ruth Menashe
Friday, April 19, 2013/Iyyar 9, 5773

I am of the opinion that we pass through some of the most important stages of our lives without proper guidance and preparation. Although we spend years of learning general knowledge, such as math, history,  grammar, etc. we are hardly ever taught how to be good wives, mothers or daughters-in-law. Even worse, when we do get advice, it may be the wrong advice all together.

I found it fascinating to read the advice that Hakham Yosef Hayyim, 'a"h, offers to mothers whose daughters are of marriagable age. He speaks against marriages arranged at a very young age, before the girl is fully mentally and emotionally developed.

How ironic it is, that in some sections of our society, there are single women who insist on only marrying men who are already established, so that they can be financially comfortable. By the same token, there are single men who feel the necessity to postpone developing a serious relationship until they have a house and can financially support a wife. This automatically raises the average age of when people are ready to commit themselves to marriage.

I have been involved with singles for quite some years and I can share wih you that it pains me to see many eligible, capable and successful singles, who remain single. It seems that we have gone in the other direction to what the Ben Ish Hai warned about in his days, some 150 years ago.

It is our responsibility, as mothers, to inculcate in our sons and daughters the importance of starting the dating process, as soon as they are emotionally ready, without delay. As a young lady once told me: "Let them get married while they're still young enough, that their requirements are still flexible".

I pray that our Father in Heaven will guide us to guide them -- our dear sons and daughters -- and may each one of them find their true soul mate with joy and clarity.

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